Courting_on_Scalpay
TC – about this tradition that you, yourself, participated in as a young man?
AM – Well yes this courting as we called it, it was, in my younger days... well I was participating in it myself. In those days there were no cars on the island or very few anyway, and, well, the only place you could meet a woman was in her own home. And you weren’t going to associate with her with her parents around so you waited till her parents went to bed. And, a pre-arranged date, and you would go to the house when you thought the parents were going to bed and the girl would come out and take you in and you would sit there on a couch until the early hours of the morning and that was it.
TC – And, what was it called?
AM – Caithris, Caithris na h-Oidhche. Caithris is being without sleep and oidhche is the Gaelic for night, Caithris na h-Oidhche. Or more often than not it was just referred to as a Caithris. Someone would ask you “an robh thu na do chaithris a-raoir? An do chaithris thu còmhla ris an nighean seo a-raoir?” Did you, well were you up during the night with this girl last night? “An do chaithris thu còmhla ris an nighean seo a-raoir?”
TC – And as you were saying earlier it was a very innocent thing, there was no... you know, you were just visiting with them but there was an element of secrecy to it as well...
AM – Oh yes the courting was secret in those days, not as it is now. I mean, you were being discreet about it. If you saw someone on the road you would hide so that they didn’t see you. And also in the summer months it would be daylight when you came home. So you would hide behind his house or some other… or hide behind a peat stack or whatever when you saw somebody coming, so that they wouldn’t see you.
TC – And how long did that go on in a courtship before, say, it was announced that you were engaged or perhaps that you weren’t going to choose to marry this person? What was the… what was the…
AM – Oh that varied, that varied. And I mean this could happen with somebody that you didn’t get engaged to eventually, I mean, there could be some bonny girl visiting the island and you could go along wherever she was staying and caithris. This happened quite often. Possibly only for the one night. You could call it a one night stand now but…
TC – Caithris na…
AM – Caithris na h-Oidhche.
TC – Very good. That’s good. Did a few men ever go off together and caithris?
AM – Yes. Indeed, I can tell you this. Finlay, Annag’s husband that you saw last night was courting a girl whose sister I was courting at the same time, and Finlay and I used to go together to that house. And allowed in at the same time together but the four of us wouldn’t sit together. There were separate rooms. You had the privacy of… maybe one couple would go to the bedroom and the other couple would stay in the sitting room. And at whatever time we decided to go home, we would go home together in the early hours of the morning.
TC – So you could go round and caithris with more than one girl as well?
AM – Oh certainly.
TC – So it wasn’t reserved for just the one sweetheart. You were single and free and could go and visit with another girl and that was okay?
AM – That was okay, and there was a lot of competition as well. Especially if there was a stranger on the island. I mean, in my younger days if you appeared on the island you would probably have somebody at the house. I’m sure you would, an attractive girl like yourself you’d be… many suitors!
TC – And would the girl invite you? Would the girl invite you?
AM – Oh no, no! You had to invite yourself and sort of… not force yourself, you had to be tactful about it. Offer yourself, sort of thing.
TC – Very good.
? – Would you like something?
TC – Are you alright?
AM – I’m alright.
TC – So, the woman didn’t invite you to come, you invited yourself?
AM – Oh no, if you heard that there was a nice woman on the island you would, sort of, how can I put it? Try your hand and see how you’d get on, you see?
TC – And could she say ‘no’ you know, ‘you can’t come in’?
AM – Oh certainly, this happened often enough. And then you can home with your tail between your legs, you see, having been disappointed.
TC – Right. And then afterwards, the next day, would it be something that the lads would all talk about? Who they were out with? And amongst the girls was it the same would they…
AM – Well we didn’t really know what was going on amongst the girls you see…
TC – That’s very good, very good indeed. And would it happen on a weekend night or a week night?
AM – Oh, a week night. A week night.
TC – A week night?
AM – A week night, oh yes, yes. A week night. Saturday nights were, in my younger days, Saturday nights were preparing for the Sabbath.
TC – Oh, right.
AM – You were always home early on a Saturday night. If I wasn’t home at eleven o’clock on a Saturday night my father would be frowning when he saw me coming in. Always home about 11 o’clock on a Saturday night. But any other night, no problem. But you had to be home early on a Saturday night. Because your Sabbath was starting at 12 o’clock you see.
TC – Well it reminds me of a story… [break in tape] what was a traditional Sabbath day like?
AM – The Sabbath Day was just, to us when I was younger, there was a church service at 12 o’clock and from the age of five, I would think, we were regularly going to church at 12 o’clock and 6 o’clock at night. And there was always the best meal of the week, you had your three course meal on the Sabbath. You had your soup and your meat course and your sweet always on the Sabbath. The best meal of the week was on the Sabbath, I don’t know why. And in my younger days, when you finished your meal the dishes were left in the sink and washed on Monday morning. They wouldn’t wash the dishes on the Sabbath.
TC – Would they prepare the food though?
AM – Most of the food was prepared on the Saturday night, but cooked on the Sabbath. Even your shoes were polished on the Saturday because in those days there was no tar on the road, just the gravel roads, and you made an awful mess of your shoes. And the shoes were polished on the Saturday afternoon for the Sabbath. You wouldn’t polish them on the Sabbath before you went to church.
TC – And there was no work done, no ploughing?
AM – Oh nothing at all.
TC – No laundry, nothing like that?
AM – No, no, nothing at all. Even yet in Scalpay there’s no work done on the Sabbath except in an emergency. There’s no clothes hung out on the line on the Sabbath on Scalpay, even to this day.
TC – I think that was my next question. Now how is it observed?
? - Did you put the water in, I didn’t know? I didn’t want to measure a teaspoon. No water?
AM – No water, thanks. Slàinte mhath. Sin agad e.
TC – Sin agad e.